Eyes
by fearless-on-my-breath
Summary: Parental!RoyEd. The two alchemists reveal something about themselves the other never even imagined.
1. Chapter 1

I love this story. I'm definitely proud of it, so yes I WILL brag. :D But anyways, it's my first FMA fic, so I hope you enjoy. No Yaoi involved, just parental love. 3 Roy is definitely one of my more favorite characters in FMA. His personality type is so interesting to write about- alot of his feelings are complex, while others are quite simple in nature. Anyways, enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I DONT OWN FMA!!! TTToTTT

As a State Alchemist serving in Ishval, Colonel Roy Mustang had seen his share of pain and violence. Hell, he'd killed more innocents than he would ever dare to count, and he swore he'd seen all of the worst expressions captured in the faces of the damned.

Until he saw Edward Elric's eyes, that is.

The first time Mustang saw them they were lifeless, cold, empty. The body they inhabited slumped in a wheelchair, a bereaved and crippled child. Roy had had to suppress a shudder- the enormity of the despair in those dull golden orbs was overwhelming, and for a kid as young as Edward? Damn, it made his throat clench just thinking about it. _If Edward's head hadn't moved_, Mustang thought_, I would have figured he was dead._ Taking a deep breath as he brought himself back to the present, Roy stood and ran a hand through his fine dark hair. Thinking about all this made him thirsty. Crossing the room in a few strides, he took a heavily labeled bottle from the counter. Mustang idly contemplated the color of the liquid- deep gold- as he poured himself a glass. He started to put the bottle back, but then thought better of it and tucked it under his arm. "How goddamn ironic," he muttered as he sat down heavily and took a swig of his scotch. The alcohol burned the inside of his nose as it traced a searing trail through his heart and down into his stomach. He closed his eyes, reveling in the sensation that had already begun to fade into soft warmth. As he rested his head against the back of the couch, his thoughts slid smoothly back to their previous engagement: Edward.

The next time Roy had seen his eyes the despair was gone- no, almost gone, more like shoved forcefully back- and replaced with more determination than an Ishvallan rebel. Ed wanted to be a State Alchemist, _right now._ Chuckling slightly to himself, Roy took another drink. There's no easy way to say no to that kind of resolve, even for a war-hardened Colonel. The only means by which to rationalize refusing the younger alchemist involved keeping him (and Roy's other subordinates, for that matter) safe. That's what superiors do- they protect their men. It's a dependence system, one that Edward refused to follow if it involved the military. He'd spent so long protecting only himself and his brother that he wouldn't rely on anyone else for assistance. _Idiot_, Mustang drained the last amber dregs from his glass. _Why didn't the kid just ask for help every once in awhile?_ Pouring himself more alcohol, he frowned_. Maybe he just didn't know how. Maybe he was too scared to try._ Roy smirked; he could almost hear Ed's objections: "I'm NOT scared, Colonel Bastard! I just don't need anyone's help, okay?!?! Especially YOURS!" God, that kid flipped out all the time, especially when anyone even hinted at the word "short". ("WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M SO SMALL THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE ME WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS?!?!?!")

Roy liked to think that when he offered Edward the way to the military, he'd started the fire that now raged in his eyes. After all, the Flame Alchemist does have a reputation for that sort of thing. Drama, intensity… now all it needed was some womanizing. He chuckled as he reconsidered that last thought. _Ed, womanizing? Yeah, right. _There's no way he would ever have Roy's sex appeal, much less hold down a girlfriend with that temper of his. Mustang shook his head, a smile touching the corners of his mouth. That kid was stubborn. At the same time, though, his stubbornness was what made him so goddamn determined. Ed held onto his goals like a terrier gripped a rat in its jaws- unrelenting, focused, using every last ounce of energy to make sure its quarry was good and dead. That was the kid's life: forcing his way forward to right his wrongs and get his brother's body back. Roy could never quite wrap his head around the devotion Ed had to Al; the kind of bond they shared was like something otherworldly. _There's no way to even begin to imagine how he must feel_. There was just _so much_ there- so much love, so much room in Ed's heart for Al because his brother was the only one Ed really let in.

A range of emotions surrounded Edward in the Flame Alchemist's mind. He felt a sort of fatherly love towards the kid, though he would never admit it to anyone. Roy was Ed's superior, and he would never publicly regard Fullmetal as anything but. _I wonder if he even knows that I care_, Roy reflected_. I haven't treated him all that great except for the whole "keeping him safe" thing, and it's not like he cares about me at all._ His eyebrows furrowed- he wasn't quite sure how he should react to that. Should he be disappointed that they could never be closer? Angry that Ed failed to recognize Roy's efforts to protect him? Happy that Ed would never have to suffer through the loss of a loved one again should Roy die in service to the state? _Ah, hell with it_, he thought. _I've got a good buzz going and I don't want to ruin it by arguing with myself. _His head was fuzzy from the alcohol, and his arms and legs felt heavier: nothing new. He'd drunk his way out of many a reminiscent night alone, only to expel his reconciled conscience into the toilet bowl along with the scotch the next morning. Roy blinked and looked blearily at the now-empty bottle under his arm. Sighing heavily, he tossed it, aiming for the armchair across the room. He heard, rather than saw, the impact of the glass against the side of the cushion, and its subsequent shattering on the tiled floor. Glittering shards exploded across the expanse of granite, startling the Colonel back to consciousness. For a moment, all he could do was stare at the delicate catastrophe littering the floor. He tried to stand, immediately letting out a soft cry of surprise as his legs trembled and gave out beneath him. His vision faded around the edges, and the last thing he saw before blacking out was chunks of glass reflecting the golden light of the setting sun.

Reviews? Please? Let me know how I did!


	2. Chapter 2

Edward walked up the stone steps to Roy Mustang's heavy wooden door, grumbling and muttering incoherently as he went. He hated the Bastard, don't get him wrong. If this were about anything but Al, Ed would just forget it and move on if it meant never coming near the Colonel… at least that's what Ed told himself as he raised his automail arm to grasp the iron knocker. He plucked the cold metal away from where it kissed the door and banged it on the surface three or four times. When no one opened it, Ed knocked again. A scowl spread across the young alchemist's face. _This is getting ridiculous,_ he thought as he began to hammer loudly on the smooth pine exterior. He made a small disparaging sound in his throat. _Figures- the one time he's NOT bothering me is the one time I actually need to talk to him. Bastard._

Irrational anger welled in Ed's throat and he glowered at the motionless piece of wood. "MUSTANG!" Ed roared, banging the knocker again. "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

When there was still no reply, he set his jaw and nodded, clapping his hands together. "Fine," he grumbled aloud.

"I'll just break it down."

Setting his hands on the hinges, he smirked childishly. _Wait 'til Mustang gets a load of this. He'll be sorry he ever ignored a child prodigy._ The door flung open as Ed deftly stepped to the side. Stepping across the threshold, he immediately noticed a crunch beneath his feet. _I thought this looked more like a granite floor- wait…glass? Mustang must've- _Ed stopped mid-thought when he saw the crumpled heap near the couch. "Mustang?!.... Mustang!!" Ed's feet kicked up miniscule glass fragments as he crossed the room, making the air visibly shimmer.

The Colonel laid face-down amidst splinters of glass and droplets of his own blood. _What the hell did he do? _Ed thought as he knelt on his automail knee beside the incapacitated man. Then he smelled the alcohol, and noticed the broken neck of the bottle lying by the armchair. Disgust twisted the younger alchemist's features. _So that's it then. The bastard smashed himself and the bottle, and then passed out. So much for worrying about his sorry ass. _Ed considered the vulnerable Colonel again. _Maybe he had something on his mind- wait, why do I care? He's a bastard. _At the same time, though, Edward found himself unable to leave Roy in his sorry state. Al's problem, he supposed, merited more than the attention of a drunk and injured Colonel Bastard. Better to wait until Roy was at least coherent, and there was no guaranteeing he'd get there on his own. _Damn. I guess I'll just get the chunks of glass out of his face and come back tomorrow._ Sighing heavily, Ed resigned himself, and gripped the Colonel under his shoulders and across his chest. He dragged the unconscious man back to the couch and rolled him over so he was lying on his back. He didn't look particularly comfortable, Ed decided. _Might have something to do with the blood dripping from the stupid bastard's face_. Turning back to the glass covered floor, Ed clapped his hands together, a ringing sound echoing off the walls. He set them down onto the granite surface, and watched the crackling blue alchemic energy draw the tiny fragments into the stone. The bright flashes faded and, satisfied, Ed returned his attention to the inebriated Roy Mustang lying helpless on the sofa.

He pulled up a chair next to the couch and, transmuting the extra metal on his first finger and thumb into a pair of thin forceps, Ed began to painstakingly remove each sliver of glass from Mustang's face. _He'd better thank me for this,_ Ed thought as he worked. _This is a real pain in the ass._ Then again, when wasn't Colonel Roy Mustang a pain in the ass? Never, as far as Edward was concerned. Small rivulets of blood streamed from multiple puncture wounds all over his forehead and nose, where the impact had apparently been the worst. The back of Ed's neck prickled, and he sniffed. It wasn't like he wasn't used to blood. He just wasn't used to seeing it drain from his superior. Now that he thought about it, Ed considered, he'd never seen Roy vulnerable. Just then, the Colonel let out a soft whimper and mumbled, "No… no no NO don't hurt him, hurt me instead… please..." A particularly large fragment of glass _plinked_ as it fell from Ed's forceps onto the floor. Colonel Bastard had just… whimpered? Ed's mind was suddenly flooded with unanswered questions. How much was Mustang _really_ affected by Ishval? Did it really still haunt him, like the memories of the failed human transmutation ghosted Ed's every footstep? Mentally shaking himself, Ed tried to focus on removing the glass, but to no avail. After a few minutes his hands began to shake so violently he had to place them on his lap. _All the pieces are out, anyway, _he thought as he tried to steady himself. _But why do I care what happened to him? He's just a bastard. Colonel Bastard, that's all. _Ed's hands refused to halt their trembling as he transmuted his fingers back to normal. _I…_ He felt his argument getting weaker with each passing minute. Mustang _did_ show Ed the way to the military, the way towards the Philosopher's Stone and fixing Al. He _had_ gotten him and Al out of more than a few sticky situations. He _was_ always there, whether Ed wanted him to be or not. Roy Mustang, Ed realized with a jolt, was more of a father to him and Al than Hohenheim would ever be. The corner of his mouth twitched as Mustang stirred slightly and let out a soft groan.

"Unh… wha hapnd?" Roy's speech was slurred and sluggish, sounding as horrible as he looked. He blinked his eyes open and then let them fall heavily shut as he lifted a hand to cover his face.

"You're an idiot, that's what." Ed reveled in the look that flew across the man's face when he spoke. "Getting totally plastered and then passing out in a broken bottle? I think that's crossed a new threshold even for you, Colonel Bastard."

"Wha tha hell're you doin here, Fullmetal?" His eyes opened to narrow slits as he glared at the smug look plastered all over the kid's face. Ed smirked.

"Getting your drunk ass off the floor, you dim-wit!"

"Mm." Roy's eyes drifted closed again and his forehead smoothed. A stagnant pause, and then… "Thanks."

Ed's jaw would have dropped to the floor if he hadn't been resting it in the palm of his hand. _What the hell? Has the whole world gone crazy? Colonel Bastard, THE Colonel Bastard… THANKED me??_

Ed was too dumbstruck to say anything more than "Uhh... Y-yeah, um, that is- uhh- sure. Yeah." He looked from side to side. "Just don't think it'll happen again," he added loudly. "'Cause it won't."

"Mmhmm." Roy's mind was too fuzzy to reply- he was waiting for the room to stop spinning whenever he opened his eyes. Ed looked at his hands, which were still shaking slightly as they lay in his lap. His curiosity suddenly overcame him and he broke the silence.

"H-hey Colonel?"

"Yeah?"

"W-when you were passed out… you said… you said some things."

"…things? What're you talkin' bout, Fullmetal?"

"You said…" Ed paused, and swallowed audibly.

"Spit it out." At least Ed knew the old Roy was still there. The thought gave him his voice again.

"You said 'don't hurt him, hurt me instead.' You were pleading, begging whoever it was not to hurt someone. It was Hughes, right? Or Havoc? From Ishval." Ed watched Mustang's face intently, his expression imploring. Roy's eyes widened, and his stomach pulled a back flip.

"No, Fullmetal," he said softly, sounding surprisingly coherent. "It wasn't about Ishval."

Ed's face fell. "Oh."

"It was about you."

The younger alchemist did a double take. "_**What**_?"

Oh, the suspense!! It'll all be over with the 3rd chapter. Reviews please?? 3


	3. Chapter 3

Onyx eyes looked up at the ceiling while gold ones searched Roy's expression for answers. Roy was silent for a moment, and then took a deep breath. He wasn't sure why he was about to actually tell the kid. _Might have something to do with the scotch, and maybe the glass in my face_. Or maybe he just wanted to come clean to Ed, just this once. "I was dreaming."

_An alchemic array graced the walls, spidery black lines scribed across the expanse of smooth, cream-colored paint. It might have inspired awe and reverence in another perhaps more pragmatic alchemist, but to Roy it just felt like some twisted disease. The room was square, with a set of double doors on one side. The doors were always locked; no matter how many times Roy dreamed it or how many times he'd tried to open the damn things, they would never budge._

_Then there was always a long several minutes of waiting. To the Colonel, it felt like eternity. Nothing entered or exited the room, nothing stirred, and there was no sound except that of Roy's footsteps echoing off the walls as he paced madly back and forth. He never remembered what was to come, but the sense of foreboding he carried was extreme. _Something is about to happen_, Roy told himself. _It's happened every time I've had this dream, but I can't remember what it is._ He would rather take a bullet to the kneecap than endure this torture for longer than a few minutes. _

_When the doors finally opened, he watched in horror as the infamous murderer Barry the Chopper strode confidently into the room, holding an irate Edward by the hair. At his throat Barry held a very sharp, very large cleaver. The young alchemist snarled at his captor, who giggled maniacally. Roy tried to step forward, meaning to confront the serial killer, but he suddenly found himself immobile. _Ah, should've seen that coming. _Barry's giggles gradually dissolved, and he smiled widely at the Colonel.  
_

_"Welcome, Flame Alchemist, to the show of a lifetime. I hope you've found a comfortable place to watch?" He giggled again. _

_Edward positively _fumed_. "Shut up, you sadistic moron! I'm not some play toy you can show off! Especially not to_ him_." Barry clucked disapprovingly and, tightening his hold on Ed's hair, drew the edge of the cleaver against the soft skin of his captive's exposed neck. A thin line of blood welled around the blade as both Ed and Roy took a sharp breath._

"_Now, now, Edward. I don't believe you're in a position to be calling people names, you naughty little alchemist, you!" Without warning, Barry sliced Ed's flesh shoulder, earning himself a string of curses and a bloodstained knife. "I'm going to cut you up into TINY little pieces, until you're just a wonderful puddle on the floor. It's a pity there aren't more like you, this is going to be quite enjoyable!" Ed's eyes flashed, first with ferocious anger, and then... with hopelessness? Roy watched, dumbstruck, as Ed's shoulders slumped and his gaze traveled downward. Barry's giggling turned into uncontrollable laughter. "Here we go!" He pushed the young alchemist forcefully into the wall, smudging the lines of the alchemic array, and pressed his forearm into Ed's throat to hold his victim still. Ed went limp against the cream and (now blotchy) black surface._

"_He's gonna kill me…" he mumbled. "I'm not gonna make it out of this alive." _

_Roy suddenly found his voice again. "Fullmetal, what are you doing? Fight back! FIGHT BACK, DAMN IT!" Ed lifted his head at the sound of his superior, but showed no sign that he understood anything Roy said. _He's totally out of it_, Roy thought. _What's wrong with him?_ It was then that he noticed how young the kid looked; he wasn't fifteen anymore. A realization dawned on the Flame Alchemist: _He's the crippled child in the wheelchair_. As soon as the notion registered, Roy's dream changed. Barry was gone. Now in the center of the transmutation circle drawn on the floor was something Roy had never wanted to see again. A crumpled mass of not-quite-human organs was oozing blood, pulsing violently and erratically. A groan issued from a malformed mouth adorning an equally misshapen face, and Roy had to close his eyes. His shuddering intake of breath was interrupted by a raw, agonizing scream- Edward had seen the… whatever it was. _

"…_Mom? MOM?! No! This is wrong! This isn't… This isn't what we wanted! Al… Alphonse! Alphonse! ALPHONSE!! This is all my fault!"_

_And then Roy was fighting. He was fighting against the invisible hands that held him where he stood, against the tears threatening to spill down his face, against the urge to sob and cry and scream with the beaten child on the floor. _

_A few moments passed, and then as suddenly as it had appeared, the _thing_ was replaced by a tall Ishvallan man- Scar. Striding over to Ed's crumpled and shaking form, he lifted him bodily off the ground by one arm. He seemed to be studying the boy's anguish, analyzing the agony carved into the kid's face._

"_Drop the kid, Scar." Roy pled, his panicked voice trembling with emotion. "You want State Alchemists that served in Ishval, right? Well, here I am. Leave Ed alone, he's not part of this." Scar regarded the Colonel with disgust etched on his features, his lips pressed together in a thin line. _

"_No."_

"_C'mon, let the kid go. It's me you want."_

"_I said 'no'." Scar turned back to Edward, who continued to shake with sobs. Without another word, the Ishballan's hand rose to his shoulder, as if he was drawing a bow. Roy felt his stomach swoop just before Scar's fist made contact. The young alchemist staggered, remaining on his feet only because of his attacker's hold on him. _

"_Issat the best you got?" Roy's heart leapt into his throat at the sound of Ed's voice. "'Cause if you think you'll bring me down like that you've got another thing com-" Scar hit him again before he could finish. And again. And again. Every time, Roy's stomach dropped another inch and _I still can't_**move**_, damnit!!

"_Scar, STOP!" Roy yelled, desperation palpable in his tone. "LET HIM GO!!" Scar ignored him and, when Edward fell to his knees, thrust his heavy boot forcefully into the young alchemist's stomach. Roy watched in disbelief as Scar repeated the motion over and over again; Ed didn't get up, or dodge the blows. He didn't make wisecracks or use alchemy. He took the beating, eyelids scrunched tightly closed and arms clutching his abdomen. _

"_No… no no NO don't hurt him, hurt me instead! PLEASE Scar, stop, for God's sake! KILL ME!" Roy's voice cracked as he screamed for Scar to stop. "It's MY FAULT!! All of it was MY fault! I'll do anything, just let him GO, DAMNIT!" _

_After what felt like an eternity, Scar just disappeared, leaving a broken Edward and a sobbing Roy in his wake. _This_, Colonel Mustang finally remembered, _is how the dream ends. Ed ends up broken, and I should have been the one to save him. I should have been there, supported him, been like a goddamn father to him. God knows he needed one.

And then Roy was looking at his ceiling again, dragging his mind back to the present. He blinked a few times and murmured, "I didn't know it could rain inside. Did you, Fullmetal?"

"It's not raining, you idiot Colonel." Ed's hands lay in his lap unmoving as he watched the tears slide down Mustang's face. Silvery lines mingled with the dried blood caked on his cheeks, making vertical trails of light red as they traveled down to his chin.

"No, it's raining alright," Mustang argued almost childishly. His shoulders shook and he bit his lip, restraining a sob. Ed curled his fingers into fists.

"NO, IT"S NOT!" Mustang turned his head to look at Ed at the sound of his strangled yell. Gold clashed with onyx, the ferocity of a caged animal paired against the anguish of a dying man. "You….you're s-such an i-idiot, M-Mustang," the younger alchemist choked. "W-Why do you th-think that you have to s-save me? I-I can h-handle it on my own. It's not…" He paused, putting a hand over his eyes and resting his elbow on his knee. He took a deep, shuddering breath, and went on. "It's not like you could have done anything anyway. It's always been just me and Al, and that's ok-" Roy was shaking his head obstinately.

"No. No, it's not okay. There's no way you're just gonna brush it off like everything's just fine, because I know it isn't." Mustang's eyes bored into Ed's now, piercing through the façade of nonchalance. "You've been through hell-"

"You have NO IDEA what I've been through!" Ed's entire face appeared to crumple in pain as the volume of his voice spiked and then rapidly fell. "None. And I'm not gonna try and explain it to you, because you will _never_ understand."

"I know, kid. I know." Even as Ed shook his head, he knew the Colonel was right. He _did_ know. That damn dream had shown him more than he'd ever wanted to see. And then the Colonel was there, wrapping his arms around Edward and burying his face in the shoulder of his coat. "I should've been there."

Ed sat dumbstruck for a moment before he recovered his wits. "You idiot," he said hoarsely, awkwardly placing his hands on Mustang's back. "You _were_ there. You're the one that showed me the way to the military so I could get my brother's body back. You're the one who held me back from doing things I would regret. You're a better father than that bastard Hohenheim will ever be. Now get the hell off me." A smile touched the corners of his lips as he pushed Mustang's shoulders back towards the couch. Mustang coughed loudly, a small sob escaping him before he took another deep breath. After a few moments, he composed himself.

"Thanks."

"Mhm."

"Damn, my face hurts. Can you get the bottle of scotch from the cupboard?"

"What? Hell, no! You turned into an emotional train wreck and cut your face to ribbons! You expect me to actually go and get you MORE so you can do it AGAIN?! I don't think so!"

"You just don't want to admit you can't reach the top shelf."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT?!?!"

~The End

Didn't you LOVE IT?!?! :D Please tell me either way? Reviews are much appreciated. 3


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